…On Abuse

Abuse, in any form, comes in a loop. This is common knowledge, if one observes well enough. Hurt people hurt, people, so hurt people hurt people. The latter explains the loop – so it continues, the bile so bitter, the pressure from the pain, the abused need to share this, to ensure those around them feel some of it, lest they implode from internalising it all.

While some may be strong enough to break the cycle, there always will be, even then, on closer observation, a lingering negative side effect of some sort, ranging in magnitude, depending on the individual’s mental strength. Terrible mood swings on occasion, wafting an aura even the most apathetic person can feel; smothering loved ones with an unnecessary overprotectiveness that could alienate them instead of the desired result; a fear that prevents you from realising and living in the true fullness of you. No matter your achievements, you would forever battle the inner voice doubting your capabilities, your deservedness. You are damaged and you are aware, vividly so, helpless to it, even as you wage war on it.

Then again, everyone is ‘damaged’, one way or another. You’ve never imagined your case special. For this reason – this complex understanding you hold, you’ll always feel torn between the love and the hate in you, for they both stem from the same source.

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